Advocating for your feelings is essential to your mourning process.
How can you honor your grief process?
I recently met with a client who wasn't ready to bury her loved one's ashes.
It had only been about six months.
She wanted desperately to hold onto them.
But she wasn't sure when she'd be ready to let them go and wanted direction from her 'loved one in spirit.'
"Is it okay if I hold onto them a bit longer? I don't know when I'll be ready to let them go. I don't know if I could ever let them go."
As I felt her 'loved one's' answer begin to flow, it came through with a strong feeling of love, kindness, and understanding..."Trust what is right and good for you first."
There was a moment of pause...
I witnessed my client's relief. It was noticeable. It was as if a heavy burden of stress had been lifted off her shoulders. As her body's tension let go, her posture shifted to a more upright and open position as she began to smile. Tears streamed down her cheek. I knew she felt her wishes had been acknowledged. She knew the answer but couldn't trust what was right and good for herself.
How can you honor your grief and mourning process?
It's essential to do what feels right and loving whenever you're feeling intense emotions along with the passing of a loved one. Be honest with yourself. Honor your wishes.
As I reflect on the passing of my mother over twenty-one years ago...
As her illness progressed she never provided any direction for care with her ashes. She left the decision to our family to make together.
After she passed, we selected three urns, allowing each of us to have one. We all felt she'd like some ashes scattered across the lake at our family's cottage. It was her favorite place to be with her mother and family in the summertime. It was a beautiful tribute to her love of the outdoors.
I love how we all listened to each other's wishes. I'm very grateful that we did that for each other during one of the most challenging periods in our lives.
The following year, we made a memorable trip together as a family to our cottage. It was the most beautiful experience. I could feel her love embrace us at that moment, too.
We each continue to hold onto our mother's ashes for our reasons.
Perhaps there will be a time when we will let them go, but for now, we hold onto them much like her memory.
Please try to honor what you need to do for your mourning process, whether it's for today, this week, next month, or into the future.
Let me know how you have honored your loved one in the comment section below
or send me a message by email to christie@christieflynn.com
If you have a question you'd like me to address on the blog, please forward it to my email above.
Christie
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